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Fake it till you make it!
Training, losing fifty pounds, conquering my fear of heights, and getting ready to head to California.

Running the Marine Corps 5K in Boston. I ran in memory of my good friend Teresa Donnellan. I miss her so much.

A spring hike with my family in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. This was pre-weight loss. I was miserable in my body and the hike was super hard. I was embarrassed in front of my kids.

Once I decided to get my shit together, I wrote in this journal that my friend Katie gave me. I tracked my exercise, my food intake, my ideas for the book, etc.

Here I am wearing the same hiking outfit after losing 25 pounds on the shake diet. This was on top of Windham High Peak in the Catskill Mountains in NY over Columbus Day weekend.

Tony helped me face my fear of heights. We took it slow. On this day I couldn't even get to the third step before my knees started shaking.

Placing a mark as far up the tree as I dared to reach. I was nervous. I held onto the tree trunk for dear life. But I did it!

Working on my fear of heights on a rainy day at home. Tony would slowly let my hands go and I would try to stay up on top of the ladder and breathe through the fear.

Looking terrified at an indoor ropes course. I knew I was strapped in but was so scared. I thought my body weight would snap the cables and I'd fall to my death in front of all the people watching below.

As time passed, I began to get slightly more comfortable on the platforms around the course. My kids were coaching me from across the tightrope.

At Cardigan Lodge during my "Writing from the Mountains" weekend.

The bench outside my lodge window. I wrote a short poem about this bench on our last writer's assignment.

My very first solo snowshoe trek at Cardigan Lodge. It was glorious.

As I came out of the forest after the snowshoe hike, Mt. Cardigan greeted me. It was so beautiful with the wispy snow blowing from the summit.

I made sure I was hiking a lot while training for Yosemite. Whenever I could get away to elevation, I took advantage. Otherwise, I did local flat hikes around my home. I had to keep my legs strong.

I watched YouTube videos and used meditation practices to help with my fear of flying. On one flight during training, I forced myself to look out the window and snap a picture!

I hiked Mt. Lincoln and Mt. Lafayette to get acclimated to the heavy pack I'd be carrying in Yosemite and the high exposure I'd find at Half Dome.

This hike took Tony and I over 9 hours to complete. The pack was heavy and the trail was steep.

The view from the top of Mt. Lincoln heading over to Mt. Lafayette. The ridgeline was so beautiful. I was proud of myself for not freaking out with the drop-offs.

Water crossings are fun!

My legs were super sore two days after the hike and I had a 10k race the following weekend. In desperation, I iced them with whatever I could find in the freezer.

I lasted about 10-15 seconds in this ice bath. I was so hoping my legs would recover before the 10k.

I slathered my legs in IcyHot in the car before going to the start line of the 10k the following Saturday. By some miracle, I was able to run the entire race without issue. My sister MaryBeth ran it with me.

A few weeks later, on July 4th, I ran another 10k. I find that it helps me to sign up for races and pay for them. If it's booked, I know I need to train and show up! Here, Joe is high-fiving me as I approach the finish.

Packing for California. There was so much to remember. I had no idea if I was over-packing or under-packing. It was fun shopping for everything though.

At the tattoo parlor on my 50th birthday, getting a small star on my wrist in memory of my mother who used to call me "Star Shine."

My fresh tattoo. We hung out at our local beach all day before heading to a celebratory 50th birthday dinner.

I had been dieting so strictly for so long. On my 50th birthday, all I wanted was a margarita and tableside guacamole! With all the training, I was tipsy after two drinks. A cheap date!

The before and after. I hate this picture. I honestly didn't feel that big, but looking back I see how stuck I was in my body. My months of hard work and discipline paid off in the end.

A few days before my 50th birthday, I hit the 50-pound weight loss mark. From 207 to 157 in under 50 weeks!

I'm old school, so I printed out each and every itinerary, map, confirmation, and document I could while planning my trip out west.

For Fat Mom on a Mountain, I planned out my chapters in weeks. I wanted to write the book over the course of 50 weeks, so I made sure to check in every single week on my progress.

All packed up and ready to roll! My borrowed backpack was stuffed to the brim and ready to jet to Yosemite.

My son, Joseph, trying on Mom's backpack. He couldn't believe how huge and heavy it was.